If your girlfriend ever tells you her cats are far from innocent, believe her.

I’d kept these little balls of fluff in my space to surprise Mallory, but they were the greatest escape artists I’d ever met. Hell, they could give Joker a run for his money.

Every time you opened a door around the one, it ran interference for the other to sneak past, and then while you’re busy wrangling cat number two, cat one slips between your legs, and it’s all a fun game they think they’ve not only won, but mastered. 

And my dumb ass falls for it every single time.

Mallory was back with us now, but BlackJack and I thought it’d be wise to keep these fluffy fuckers out of Ace’s line of sight until he healed up some.

Too bad the cats weren’t on the same page.

Which is why I was bent over at the waist, dangling a slice of lunchmeat in front of all the furniture, hoping mister too-fast-for-you Alpine would come out and give up his game of hide and seek before his mommy came home with Ace the cat hater and ruined my carefully-laid plans.

“Here, you insufferable kitty kitty kitty, come to daddy Spade, that’s a good boy—”

“What in the fucking seven hells are you doing with that meat?”

Of course Joker would choose now to walk in. I peered up at him with a scowl and held out the slice. “We’re catching a cat. How nice of you to volunteer your assistance; I’d love an extra set of hands. Here, take this meat—it’s bait.”

He pinched the offered slice between two fingers like it might bite him if he held it any tighter, and set to work, thankfully. If he had put up a fight, I’d have kicked his ass, then made him hunt for the fucking furball himself while I watched.

When the garage door echoed on the other side of the wall, I went into full-scale panic. 

“Fuck, they’re back!” My palms were sweating, and if a hole had opened up in the floor and swallowed me whole, it would be a relief from this anxiety.

Hells bells, you’d think I was proposing, the way I went into DEFCON 3.

When the door opened and the love of my life—and one of hers—walked in, I felt my asshole fucking pucker. Somewhere in this place was a roaming cat, and if he jumped out and ruined the surprise before I could run the idea by Ace, I’d never live it down.

His brother, or sister, or whatever—I never learned to identify cat gender—was still safely tucked away in my room, freshly washed and resembling a drowned rat thanks to his foray into the torture chamber, where he proceeded to roll his fluffy white ass in a puddle of blood. 

Also a side note, never ever try to wash a cat if you can avoid it. Their claws were sharp enough to skin you alive, and they’d relish doing it.

Joker, shitstain that he was, smiled at the returning members of our strange polycule and waggled his fingers at them in greeting. “Hey you two, how was work?”

Mallory sighed dramatically and put a hand to her forehead, mocking old movie stars. “It was so horrible, Cass, he made me walk up a flight of stairs in these heels, and then I wasn’t even allowed to hold the gun—”

“You couldn’t hold the gun because I knew they’d wanna feel you up, and then we wouldn’t have had a gun to speak of.”

Ace flopped into his chair and ran a hand through his hair as Mallory danced over to Joker, falling into his waiting arms, her tinkling peals of laughter like a million bells singing in harmony in my head. “And what did you boys get up to while we were gone?”

If that bastard so much as hinted at my plan or what we’d actually been doing, I’d kill him.

“Cleaning—” I shouted, just as Joker opened his mouth with “Dinner plans!”

Because winging it had never been our forte.

Ace’s lips twitched in a smirk. “Which one is it?”

Before we could answer, the irritating furball of the hour jumped into Ace’s lap and headbutted his injured shoulder in search of attention.

Three things happened really fast.

Ace turned a murderous stare on me, which was honestly offensive because, really, was I the first one he thought would do something like this? 

Mallory caught sight of her beloved pet and screamed in delight, launching herself at him like a madwoman, causing Ace and the cat no small amount of panic.

BlackJack wandered into the frame, standing by the door with a smile on his lips as he watched our girl coo at her baby, whom she had refused to remove from Ace’s lap, much to his dismay, I’m sure.

She toyed with his little ears while Ace stared daggers at me, but then she went dead silent, and her brows scrunched up as she turned around and stared right along with Ace, the cat now in her arms.

“Did you bring them here, Tyson?”

Oh, yeah, she called me Tyson now when I was being good. I wasn’t a good boy often, but my sweetheart gave me a pretty long lead to run on, so it was getting harder and harder to misbehave and get punished.

I liked being punished, too, for the record.

I nodded excessively, reaching for her with a free hand and a quickly-hardening dick. “You bet your sweet ass, Mallory. I figured there was no point in paying for them to have a whole apartment to themselves, so why not bring them home?”

I saw the look in her eyes change from appreciation to lust the second they caught sight of the bulge in my pants, and just when I thought she’d set the cat down and blow me in front of the whole crew—(thank you, sweet baby Jesus)—the fucking asshole in the corner had to open his damn mouth and ruin it.

“Maybe you should recheck his collar, Mal.”

As if only just realizing she still held the now-petrified pussycat in her hands, she turned him over and gave him a belly rub before yanking a small key from his leather collar. She handed him over to me, and Alpine looked less than interested in staying, but my hand on his back prevented us from another round of find-the-kitty.

“It’s a key.”

BlackJack nodded as she turned it over in her hand, staring at it like that would change what it looked like. “What’s it go to?”

The smug bastard grinned wider, but now his cheeks were turning pink. “The box on the kitchen table.”

“Bring it in here and open it, beautiful,” Joker insisted. “Now we’re all curious.”

She disappeared and was back in a flash, holding what looked like a small, beat-up lockbox. At one time, you might’ve seen it at a bake sale, keeping their meager earnings safe from the wind and grabby hands. 

I held my breath in anticipation as BlackJack closed in on her and waited patiently for her to twist the key in the lock and open the metal lid.

When she finally did, I don’t think any of us had a fucking word one to say.

Speechless.

The only time in my life I didn’t have a single word to say.

Our girl pulled out the brand new, custom-made handgun, the diamonds glittering from the grip, her name engraved across the barrel on both sides. It was by and large the most expensive gun I’d seen in a while and quite a stunner. 

Fucking asshole outdid me.

Showoff.

“Oh, Jonah, it’s gorgeous—”

She spun on her heel, gun still in hand, and threw her arms around his neck, falling against him with a squeal of excitement.

For a split second, I was worried he’d snagged a ring and planned to propose to her.

I would have fucking killed him.

Ace cleared his throat, and we all turned to him as he smiled up at her like she hung the fucking sun. He couldn’t help it; we were all idiots who would kill a man to make her smile like that.

“Well, Miss Stanton, I think some appreciation is in order for these men, don’t you?”

Her eyes glinted with a hunger we knew all too well, and BlackJack dragged her to the couch, falling on his ass a few feet away from me and scaring the cat off in the process. Mallory straddled his lap, her hair falling over those slender shoulders, and the poor guy was fucked from the start. Our girl knew how to work him like Joker could work a mark, and she put those talented hips to work, teasing the fucker right there in front of me while my cock thickened behind these damn pants.

Joker and Ace looked like they were about to get comfortable and watch, which was fine with me. The more, the merrier, and none of us were jealous men.

Mallory and Ace had this power thing, and she liked to be told what to do by him, submitting to his leadership just like the rest of us. She did so now, turning to wait for his orders with eagerness, that talented tongue darting out to lick the pretty lips I loved to feel against my own.

Ace wasted no time, bless him. “Why don’t you suck Spade off while you let BlackJack pound that tight little pussy of yours?”

About that moment, I think BlackJack realized she wasn’t wearing panties beneath her little dress, because his eyes damn near rolled into the back of his head as he groaned. Mallory already had her hand at his waist and was making fast work of his jeans, his dick already in hand like the fucking pro she was.

I watched her rise up and then position herself right above him, sliding down the fucker’s sizeable dick with a moan of appreciation that had me hard as fuck. Not one to wait, I pulled myself out of the constricting pants I wore and fisted myself, our eyes meeting while she bounced on his lap and drove the poor guy absolutely feral.

“You think you can stay on his dick while you bend over and suck mine?”

With a satisfying whimper of approval, the goddess that was Mallory Stanton leaned over and put her gorgeous lips around my cock while all the others watched. The speed that BlackJack pumped up into her set the pace for her head to bob up and down the length of my cock. 

“Fuck, she’s so tight,” he moaned, his hips snapping up into her with the force of a man wrecked, wholly and utterly, and I couldn’t blame him.

Hell, if a gun and some cats got us this kind of performance, I wondered what she’d do when one of us finally popped the question.

Almost made a man wants to get down on one knee right now, if it didn’t mean taking my dick away from her throat.

“If she takes any more of me in her mouth, I’m gonna fucking lose it,” I groaned, fisting her hair in one hand as she moaned around me, scraping her teeth along the underside just harsh enough to make me swear and my balls tighten.

Jesus Mary and Joseph, she must have been a professional harlot in another life. 

Ace groaned from his chair, and I noticed the obvious bulge in his pants, but he hadn’t devolved into a hot mess like Joker. He hadn’t even freed himself. No, that anaconda was probably painful, tied up behind those slacks of his, and he leaned forward with his palms on his knees and watched her work with avid interest.

“BlackJack, hold her skirt up so I can watch her hungry cunt devour you.”

He scrambled to oblige, and the groan Ace let out had me wondering if I should watch my asshole around him. The bastard had always been a bit free-spirited.

“Fuck, she was made to take our cocks, wasn’t she?”

Joker mumbled some incoherent mess of words as he came in his hand, hips lifting off the chair, eyes rolling as his head fell back on the chair.

My lips twitched up in a grin. “Look at how you wrecked him, sugar tits,” I growled, pulling her head to the side so she could lick my cock while her eyes took in the blissed-out blonde man sitting across from her.

BlackJack swore under his breath. “She must like that because I don’t think she can get any tighter a grip on my dick right now.” He reached down with his free hand and tweaked her sensitive little nub. “Gods, Mal, I wanna feel you come around me, fuck, I need it—”

I lifted my hips off the couch and brought her pretty mouth clear to the base of my dick as I came down the back of her throat, my snarling release painting the inside of her mouth as she shuddered in his arms and let herself go. 

BlackJack wasn’t far behind.

When our pretty little pet had taken her fill, Ace yanked her right off our laps and tossed the gun on the couch, throwing a very wet and wild Mallory over his shoulder. “Thanks for breaking her in, boys, but I’ll take it from here.”

As he marched down the hall, taking our fun with him, BlackJack and I locked eyes briefly, brows raised in a what the fuck moment as we struggled to make heads or tails of that little adventure.

“You ever upstage me like that again, I’ll castrate you, ya hear me, Jonah?”

His answering smirk still took some getting used to, considering the man beside me was a whole new man, thanks to our girl. “If it was that easy to upstage you, Tyce, then I guess you’ll have to sleep with one eye open from now on. I plan to make that girl happy for a long fucking time.”

“That makes three of us,” Joker muttered from his chair. 

The three of us raced to put our pants back on and run for the garage, keys in all of our hands.

The race was on.

Our girl was going to be the most spoiled, most loved, most cherished fucking thing on the planet. We’d all see to that.